Interruptions are probably the most hated problem in the field of communication. It is very easy for anyone to slip into the habit of interrupting others. In some people it is such an ingrained habit that they will not even know that they are interrupting someone. I have been one of them and thankfully with practice, I have been able to overcome this problem.
The habit of interrupting can be caused by two different reasons or intentions.
1. The person is genuinely interested in making sure you get all the information that you may need. True, they exude the know-it-all and sometimes, they do! They may know-it-all. This type is also called as walking dictionaries
2. The other one is the type who feels they are better than you and always want to prove it to others as well so they don’t miss even one opportunity to show off their ‘gift’ and look down upon others.
Now that we have found the necessary difference and are resolved to handle this problem, why not do it in a way that makes the best use of this behavior?
First thing to know is to hate the attitude, not the person.
Some of the walking dictionary types are crazy but also a genius. They can come up with crazy ideas. Often, they are very erratic and creative. Their thought processes are non linear and from what I have seen, all major businessmen have one such person around because they can think differently than the rest. They can give a perspective which others can’t. But then, not all interrupters fall into this category.
I will try to outline some of the ways in which this particular behavior can be handled
Important: Use situational judgment before using any of these techniques
1. Recognize this behavior in yourself.
Interruptions happen not just in talking but also to our thoughts and actions.
Verbal interruptions are easy to realize. If you want to solve the core problem, try and realize all the different areas of life where you get interrupted by yourself. Some are good and some are not so good. See http://communication-skills-4confidence.com/interruptions.html for more details
2. Realize the purpose of Interruptions.
Interruptions are like messengers, they have a purpose and the message. Once you recognize at least three different areas in your own life where you suffer from unnecessary interruptions, begin to look for the possible reasons for these interruptions. Most of them originate from the depths of the powerful and protective unconscious mind.
Always respect these signals. The more you respect your unconscious, the more it will be helpful to you. In many situations, Interruptions may be indicative or metaphorical in its message. The meaning will dawn to you in due course.
If you hate it, suppress it or get anxious over it, you are indicating distrust towards your unconscious.
3. You find yourself interrupting others while they talk.
The behavior of interrupting others can be due to the two reasons that I mentioned earlier one. There is one more factor to consider, your ego. The best way to solve this is to just laugh at your ego’s attempt for attention. Just laugh at it internally and thank it for the message. Make a note of the message and deliver it to the group later.
4. Dealing with others interrupting you.
Well there are different ways you can handle it depending on the situation and context. If you are in a meeting where you expect to be interrupted try this one:
As I said, use sound judgment while using this particular technique.
At the beginning of the meeting, mention that those who have something to say will have to hold their thoughts and the ones who interrupt will have to wear pink pant to office or something ridiculous. The idea is to make the person who would interrupt a little foolish and at the same time giving him a leeway to avoid it.
The structure:
Interrupt do something stupid OR avoid
Note: Nobody likes being told that they are wrong. Use caution.
Another way is to let them know that they interrupt a lot and they can find a solution to their problem by coming to my site and reading the page on Interruptions. You can even print this page and give it to them if you want. Simple isn’t it?
You are achieving two objectives. You are telling them that you know that they are interrupting too often. That you care about them and you are willing to help. The least of all, you, will give me new visitors and encourage me to write more.
The useful way of using interruptions:
Admit it, we all have it. Interrupting is a natural thing. Once you accept it, move on to the next phase of how to harness the power of interruptions.
Sri Hari has been developing new insights in the field of communication skills helping thousands break the mould and enjoy a happier life. Get a taste of his unique perspective at his website http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/©SriHari2005.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Friday, November 18, 2005
What is going on?
Hey all,
I have been getting many emails from my visitors asking why I have not been posting for some time now.
Well the thing is that since the time I opened doors for the
skill builder ecourse, I have been getting many requests for asking for a lot of different things to be added to the site and the course. So I have
been busy working on those requests.
Just to let you know, the most awaited parts about handling Interruptions should be up in the
next day to two. Keep watching:-)
Have Lots of Fun, and Happy Holidays
Sri Hari.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Leadership Quotes: How to use them
Some people think that in order to qualify as a leadership quote; it needs to have the word leader or leadership in it. That’s simply absurd. Let me give you some examples. Two quotes from two well known people. Tell me which one you feel qualifies as a leadership quote?
1. "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
2. "Leadership is action, not position."
Which one would you pick?
A leadership Quote is like a Loaded Bullet, when fired from the correct angle, it can penetrate through the toughest of the armors.
Leadership quotes are good to use especially in speeches or communication training or even in a simple conversations where you need a different perspective. A few advantages of using leadership quotes:
1. It tells the people listening that you are well learned.
2. It also gives them a new perspective (that is what quotes are supposed to do)
3. You can use it as a filler
4. It works well as an effective transition device or as an introduction to metaphors while speaking.
One thing not to ever do: Do not pass on somebody’s quote as your own. There are chances you could be caught. Don’t worry, it won’t put you behind bars but, people will know that you are pretentious.
Now, let’s examine some of the quotes that can make us move in new directions.
Important: This page will be changed often. So if you like something, write it down. I will try to help you get a new direction of thought or will give some examples to help you understand them better.
"A Leader is best when people barely know he exists"
- Manz and Sims
"Good end justifies any means."
- Machiavelli
This great Teacher is well known for his quotes which have always been blown out of context. Machiavelli was way ahead of his time when it came to ideas of leadership. He made no efforts to keep his thoughts a secret, even if they were not accepted at his time. Pay special attention to his quotes, and always take it with a pinch of salt because most of the time, it would be a half truth....more
1. "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
2. "Leadership is action, not position."
Which one would you pick?
A leadership Quote is like a Loaded Bullet, when fired from the correct angle, it can penetrate through the toughest of the armors.
Leadership quotes are good to use especially in speeches or communication training or even in a simple conversations where you need a different perspective. A few advantages of using leadership quotes:
1. It tells the people listening that you are well learned.
2. It also gives them a new perspective (that is what quotes are supposed to do)
3. You can use it as a filler
4. It works well as an effective transition device or as an introduction to metaphors while speaking.
One thing not to ever do: Do not pass on somebody’s quote as your own. There are chances you could be caught. Don’t worry, it won’t put you behind bars but, people will know that you are pretentious.
Now, let’s examine some of the quotes that can make us move in new directions.
Important: This page will be changed often. So if you like something, write it down. I will try to help you get a new direction of thought or will give some examples to help you understand them better.
"A Leader is best when people barely know he exists"
- Manz and Sims
"Good end justifies any means."
- Machiavelli
This great Teacher is well known for his quotes which have always been blown out of context. Machiavelli was way ahead of his time when it came to ideas of leadership. He made no efforts to keep his thoughts a secret, even if they were not accepted at his time. Pay special attention to his quotes, and always take it with a pinch of salt because most of the time, it would be a half truth....more
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Free Hypnosis MP3
Hello all,
Its official. I have received the go-ahead from Hypnotica to give away his amazing Build Confidence mp3 Free. so here is your chance to grab the $97 worth Build Confidence along with our 10 part E-Course.
A lot of you have been telling me that the site is great but you need a concrete plan to follow....
wish granted.
The E-Course is about to begin...so lose no time. sign up today...
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/join.html
Always,
Sri Hari
Grab the Mp3
Its official. I have received the go-ahead from Hypnotica to give away his amazing Build Confidence mp3 Free. so here is your chance to grab the $97 worth Build Confidence along with our 10 part E-Course.
A lot of you have been telling me that the site is great but you need a concrete plan to follow....
wish granted.
The E-Course is about to begin...so lose no time. sign up today...
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com/join.html
Always,
Sri Hari
Grab the Mp3
Thursday, October 20, 2005
What is Active listening?
Defining Active listening: Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. It is made up of three components;
Hearing
Interpreting
Assigning a contextual meaning.
The Process of listening is organized into three steps not because I say so but, due to the biological process which regulates listening.
The proof of good listening is an appropriate response.
- Judi Brownell
Most of us would not differentiate between hearing and listening. This is mostly due to the conditioning that all of us go through in the school which says Ear is for Hearing
There is a big difference. You can hear the noise, but you have to listen ....
Friday, October 14, 2005
Listening skills: Tips and Techniques
Listening skills v/s Hearing
Almost all of us are born with the ability to Hear. As we grow older, right from day one, we begin to develop our listening skills, i.e. Interpret what we hear and give a contextualized meaning to the sounds. So listening is not an inborn talent, but something we develop out of practice. It is a cognitive process in psychological terms. Irrespective of how good one might be, we all can do a better job at listening. All too often we are being referred to the saying;
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason - Use it in that proportion.
I have first hand experience in this area and the techniques that .......
Almost all of us are born with the ability to Hear. As we grow older, right from day one, we begin to develop our listening skills, i.e. Interpret what we hear and give a contextualized meaning to the sounds. So listening is not an inborn talent, but something we develop out of practice. It is a cognitive process in psychological terms. Irrespective of how good one might be, we all can do a better job at listening. All too often we are being referred to the saying;
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason - Use it in that proportion.
I have first hand experience in this area and the techniques that .......
Monday, October 10, 2005
Interrupting and Empowering: A new perspective
Most of the communication skills courses tell us not to interrupt. I think they are leaving out an important and natural power. Interrupting need not be only in a conversation. It has many garbs. You may be interrupting your sleep to read this article and some times, it is a good thing to do. So instead of casting away it as an unnecessary behavior, utilize it in the following way.
Due to the ritualistic living that we are undergoing, it is quite easy to adjust ourselves into a stereotype and react to circumstances.
This is one of the reasons everything stays mediocre instead of the Grand. We often interrupt or grand ideas and empower mediocrity because it is familiar and we won’t be seen as fools. If you reverse this process, i.e. interrupt mediocrity and empower creativity, you will have lot more satisfaction and success.
Next time you catch yourself thinking of a problem interrupt that thinking and empower your self to look for the solution rather than keep staring at the problem. Who says learning communication skills can be boring? We get a whole new dimension don’t we?
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Due to the ritualistic living that we are undergoing, it is quite easy to adjust ourselves into a stereotype and react to circumstances.
This is one of the reasons everything stays mediocre instead of the Grand. We often interrupt or grand ideas and empower mediocrity because it is familiar and we won’t be seen as fools. If you reverse this process, i.e. interrupt mediocrity and empower creativity, you will have lot more satisfaction and success.
Next time you catch yourself thinking of a problem interrupt that thinking and empower your self to look for the solution rather than keep staring at the problem. Who says learning communication skills can be boring? We get a whole new dimension don’t we?
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Monday, October 03, 2005
Focussing on the Principles
Forget techniques and learn principles:
A lot of managers are fond of using something called a Sandwich technique. It is situation where you slip in a negative comment or feedback layered in between two positive comments. It is a good technique no doubt. But if you repeat it to the same old staff for 2 years, it means you are not capable of innovating. People get conditioned to any one particular behavior over time and so the technique looses its impact.
We all develop a favorite way of reacting to situations. We gather these techniques by experience and learning from others. What we eventually have forgotten is that they are just techniques, and are replaceable. Something like software programs which almost always get replaced by a better version.
But since it works so well to us, we get possessive about it and find our selves bound by it. It becomes difficult to break that mould. A person in a mould is like a frog in the well. He has limited reach and limited awareness.
Technique is like giving fish to a hungry man while understanding a principle is like teaching him fishing. So instead of getting all cluttered up with techniques understand the principles driving them. You will find many on my website.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
A lot of managers are fond of using something called a Sandwich technique. It is situation where you slip in a negative comment or feedback layered in between two positive comments. It is a good technique no doubt. But if you repeat it to the same old staff for 2 years, it means you are not capable of innovating. People get conditioned to any one particular behavior over time and so the technique looses its impact.
We all develop a favorite way of reacting to situations. We gather these techniques by experience and learning from others. What we eventually have forgotten is that they are just techniques, and are replaceable. Something like software programs which almost always get replaced by a better version.
But since it works so well to us, we get possessive about it and find our selves bound by it. It becomes difficult to break that mould. A person in a mould is like a frog in the well. He has limited reach and limited awareness.
Technique is like giving fish to a hungry man while understanding a principle is like teaching him fishing. So instead of getting all cluttered up with techniques understand the principles driving them. You will find many on my website.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Monday, September 26, 2005
Choosing your Direction:
Most of the well meaning gurus of modern life have taught us to have goals and I also talk about this on my communication skills website .Some of the gurus have gone to the extent of telling us to create the reality in our mind and live it until it manifests in the real world. This is a good thing to do and it works. We have to understand, though, that it is a creative process and we should not use our logical and rational thinking to understand(or rationalize) this process. It is necessary to have goals in life as goal posts, as indicators and route maps. But, not as the final destination. Many people get confused with goal setting and set themselves up for disappointment.
All our goals should be aimed at inner satisfaction first and then external manifestation.
It will be lot easier when you take the tension off a destination and create a goal post for yourselves.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Most of the well meaning gurus of modern life have taught us to have goals and I also talk about this on my communication skills website .Some of the gurus have gone to the extent of telling us to create the reality in our mind and live it until it manifests in the real world. This is a good thing to do and it works. We have to understand, though, that it is a creative process and we should not use our logical and rational thinking to understand(or rationalize) this process. It is necessary to have goals in life as goal posts, as indicators and route maps. But, not as the final destination. Many people get confused with goal setting and set themselves up for disappointment.
All our goals should be aimed at inner satisfaction first and then external manifestation.
It will be lot easier when you take the tension off a destination and create a goal post for yourselves.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Build your Self worth
Getting a snapshot of our inner self and communicating with it is the stepping stone for lasting success. We may have to tweak that picture a little to make it better. After all the inner torment many of us have gone through, this is high time we dive in for a quick look and fix. How can we do that?
Many successful people believe that building one’s self worth is the best investment one can make. They have always emphasized on the goodness and importance of giving. Most of the people look at this idea with scoff and feel that they can give out only when they more than enough, a typical indicator of lack of self worth. Find more about building self worth here.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Many successful people believe that building one’s self worth is the best investment one can make. They have always emphasized on the goodness and importance of giving. Most of the people look at this idea with scoff and feel that they can give out only when they more than enough, a typical indicator of lack of self worth. Find more about building self worth here.
Have Fun
Sri Hari
Skills for the Next Level
Monday, September 12, 2005
Hi All,
I was watching a portion of The West Wing today and a comment by Pres.Bill Clinton made me think. He said "A President has to make tough choices, but then Tough choices also makes you the President"
So many of us do not do the right thing because we are too scared. We put ourselves in a cave of fear and darkness. The situation may pass us, time moves on ,but, we will care that cave within ourselves.Untill you Clear that cave out, You will always feel Incomplete.
What can you do today to clear your cave? Get to know the Intention of your acts and you will get the starting point.
until next time,
Sri Hari
Communication Skills for the Next Level
I was watching a portion of The West Wing today and a comment by Pres.Bill Clinton made me think. He said "A President has to make tough choices, but then Tough choices also makes you the President"
So many of us do not do the right thing because we are too scared. We put ourselves in a cave of fear and darkness. The situation may pass us, time moves on ,but, we will care that cave within ourselves.Untill you Clear that cave out, You will always feel Incomplete.
What can you do today to clear your cave? Get to know the Intention of your acts and you will get the starting point.
until next time,
Sri Hari
Communication Skills for the Next Level
Monday, August 29, 2005
The Biggest Characteristic of Leadership.
The Biggest Characteristic of Leadership :
Have you ever wondered what is the biggest Characteristic of Leadership is?
there is easy way of recognizeing this select three to five famous leaders from different regions from teh same time frame and ask your self thee questions.
if you were to find the most common thing about these leaders, what would it be?
what is the greatest source of strength of these leaders?
think about this and check your answers at Characteristic of leadership or Leadership traits
Have fun
Sean Nei
Taking Communication Skills to the Next Level
Have you ever wondered what is the biggest Characteristic of Leadership is?
there is easy way of recognizeing this select three to five famous leaders from different regions from teh same time frame and ask your self thee questions.
if you were to find the most common thing about these leaders, what would it be?
what is the greatest source of strength of these leaders?
think about this and check your answers at Characteristic of leadership or Leadership traits
Have fun
Sean Nei
Taking Communication Skills to the Next Level
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Welcome to communication skills blog
Hi friends,
Welcome to my online blog. The field of communication is very dynamic and so should be our website. To ensure that you get all the updates and the latest in communication skills, keep checking this blog often.
Let's have some fun
Sean Nei
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com
Welcome to my online blog. The field of communication is very dynamic and so should be our website. To ensure that you get all the updates and the latest in communication skills, keep checking this blog often.
Let's have some fun
Sean Nei
http://www.communication-skills-4confidence.com
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